The past few days were really one of the hardest battles in my life. I’ve been emotionally, mentally and physically drained.
It all started by having my right shoulder suffer joint problems. An injury 3 weeks before my most awaited race. I was bothered by it. I couldn’t help but get worried. It was giving me pain from time to time. I was not able to execute some of the exercises properly because of the pain. But then again, I adapted to the situation and do the right adjustments right away.
While in the process of recovering, I was actually surprised I got stressed out by my work task. That task put me on a roller coaster for so many days! It was an easy and simple task but turned out to be an annoying and complicated one.
I tried to do adjustments whenever I feel I am about to burst. I tried looking for the small wins. Tried taking one step at a time. I also tried my best to calm during the ignition.
But unfortunately, it is not working and I do not know.
Then life still wants me to put into another trial.
My sister got an infection and sickness. She wasn’t able to come to school and perform her responsibilities because she feels weak. I needed to take care of her. Monitor her up until midnight just to make sure her fever doesn’t go up terribly. Imagine having my personal issues then add another one?
I don’t know if I can take it anymore.
I don’t know if can I survive each day.
I don’t know how long it will last.
Those issues are all in my back! When the night comes and I am lying on my bed… I can’t sleep. I feel sad. My mind is getting some crazy disturbances that I do not know what to call it. It doesn’t allow me to sleep. I tried calming myself but I can feel my heart beating so fast and I do not know why. I do not know what is happening.
I can’t sleep and I am bothered.
As I am in the process of overcoming this hard battle, I ask you, God, to give me more strength to fight for this.
God, I cannot do this alone and I need you to fight with me.
God, give me the strength to fight through this hardship.
God, I don’t want you to end the battle because I know this is the time I can further grow and develop. I just want you to please give me more strength to fight because I don’t know how long I can take it.
God, I believe that you give your greatest battle to your strongest warrior but I cannot win this battle without your strength.
God, I believe that this will end in your time. I will have to trust and keep my faith in you every single day. It is hard but I can do it!
God, I know you want me to go through this to grow. You have a reason why I am in this process but I need you to give me strength every single day to fight. My strength is not enough to fight even more.
Help me with my everyday fight. I believe I will get through this with you by my side. Don’t leave me. Allow me to grow through this process. I do not know the reason but I can surely connect the dots later on. I believe in you. You are my weapon. I trust you.
This is just a part of the journey towards something beautiful. I will keep on holding on and keep going. Taking one day at a time. Winning each day at a time.
As soon as this battle ends, I will become a better person and have a stronger mind. I will let my faith grow even more around you.
So, God, please give me more strength.