In the last two weeks, I’ve been constantly trying to learn how to surf through the waves of life. It keeps on coming at me with bigger waves and I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t know how to ride the surfboard and go through the waves.
Being aware that I kept on failing, I tried even harder — contemplating and putting most of my energy into it. But I still failed to do it. I don’t know anymore what to do. I feel like I’ve already exhausted every logical thing I should do.
In my experience, I can say that whenever we have a problem, all of our focus is in there. All of the energy is going towards solving that problem. It is like whenever we are hungry, primarily all we want is to eat and the rest is secondary.
Sleepless nights, loss of energy, scared, and demotivated is what I’m feeling but on the other side of that, I’ve realized something even more.
Creator Of Suffering
My inability to control or influence my mind to be quiet is the reason why I’ve suffered in my daily progress. I wasn’t able to make it quiet whenever it’s time to rest.
I was so attached to the idea of overcoming my challenges rather than surpassing the environment. I wasn’t able to think above my situation or my environment.
With each thought my mind had created, I mostly paid attention. And we know that where we place our attention is where we place our energy. The problem I had was my sister got some problem with her throat and kept on having dry coughs. It was due to the cold weather and showers we’re experiencing. She felt like there was something stuck in her throat that makes it go itchy.
Through that process, a lot of things are going on with my mind especially now that there’s a pandemic. Connecting her cough and the pandemic usually is the easier route to believe but no, it isn’t that one. I’m so focused on fixing that problem and not being aware that I’m starting to fall down on my own suffering.
My YouTube feed is mostly surrounded by looking at life from another perspective contents. I’ve watched one of the videos of Sadhguru where he explains that suffering, fear, stress, or unblissfulness happens because of our inability to control our own minds. He also mentioned on that video that we aren’t the thoughts or emotions that our mind and body produce. As I am watching the video, my takeaways are to let go of the things I can’t control, control how I respond, and don’t pay attention to all the thoughts that are coming in and out of our own mind.
I started applying that advice and I couldn’t believe I’ve experienced and witnessed life outside of mine.
The moment I stopped paying attention and not attending most of the thoughts that my mind is producing something emerges within. It feels like I’m not attached to the problem and I can now see things from another perspective.
My sister’s condition was actually a mental challenge for me since the start. It was like a game level for me that I need to surpass in order to unlock new things. When I stopped paying attention and only control what I can control. Most of the things went actually good. Her cough began to get away and I started feeling better and slightly getting back to the lost routine and sleep.
While in the process of applying it, every morning I kept on looking over the window where I can see a plant. I’m not sure what happened specifically but it caught my attention. It was like showing its beauty. The plant doesn’t speak like us but it seems speaking. It was like telling me there are other life forms that I don’t know. It was like trying to show to me there’s more to life. I was captivated.
Most of the mornings I will get my camera and take a closer picture of the plant. It was so beautiful and it was like my first time seeing it very closely. I can see how it starts to blossom and how it liked getting the sunlight.
There’s this one morning where it rains very hard. I looked into the window and I can see the plant destroyed. What blossomed yesterday was gone today. It felt unusual. But I took a closer picture of it again. I saw the raindrops on the plant and looking like some eyes looking at me. It’s hard to explain but it certainly looks like eyes watching over me.
As I continue to put my attention there, little by little I realized that they needed the rain to grow. From my perspective, it was a harsh event because they are getting destroyed. But looking at it again I can see that they needed those drops of rain in order for them to continue growing.
Then the next morning, it was shiny and I looked into the window and oh my god it was so beautiful. The pinkish petals, how it blossoms confidently, and how happy they are already was so memorable to me. It was literally looking at another form of life being blessed by nature.
Bringing It All Together
As I mentioned to you earlier, my sister’s condition was all a mental game to me. It taught me to let go of things I don’t have control over in order to see more to life. If I didn’t let it go, I wouldn’t be able to learn how to ride the waves. I wouldn’t be able to witness the life of the plant.
Most of the time we want to control everything in our life. Most of the time if things aren’t making sense logically, we kept on finding why it makes sense. We kept on seeking until we get tired and nowhere to go. Maybe life isn’t about finding why this thing makes sense and this thing doesn’t make sense.
A lot of things in life don’t really make sense if we will come to think of it. We just made our own and social conclusions into different things.
The life of the plant I’ve witnessed and shared with you has some lessons we can take away. When it rains, most of us are disappointed maybe because our scheduled plans got postponed. But, if we will consider it to the plant, another life form, it is needed for them to grow. They won’t be able to grow without water.
You might think “oh it’s just a plant, my schedule is much important”. No, it’s incorrect to think of it like that because a plant is also a form of life just like you. Human beings might be on the top of the evolutionary scale but it doesn’t mean we should devalue them.
This shows that things aren’t going to happen 100% our way. It will happen this way, to that way, or another way. And that’s okay because we aren’t the only ones living on this planet.
It may be challenging to show but I believe we are interconnected to each other. We can’t just see the bigger picture of everything but we do once we are able to look back on things.
May you also witness a life beyond human beings and have profound experience on your journey.
May you reach your dreams.